I dropped the ball this week. What is it, week three? And we already slept in too late and missed the bus. But it wasn’t the end of the world – we were still up early enough that I could rush us around and drive them to school and still not be late.
Pulling into the drop-off line with about 5 minutes to spare, I was feeling pretty proud of myself. That is, until the girls got out of the car, and the monitor asked them if they had masks. They didn’t.
And just like that, the ball dropped.
Ironically, later that day, I came across a tweet that I swear was written for me. Jennifer Lynn Barnes posted:
“One time, I was at a Q&A with Nora Roberts (a famous author), and someone asked her how to balance writing and kids, and she said that the key to juggling is to know that some of the balls you have in the air are made of plastic, and some are made of glass.
And if you drop a plastic ball, it bounces, no harm done. If you drop a glass ball, it shatters, so you have to know which balls are glass and which are plastic and prioritize catching the glass ones.”
Nora was not talking about juggling five balls. She was talking about juggling FIFTY-FIVE balls. The balls don’t represent ‘family’ or ‘work.’ There are separate balls for everything that goes into each of those categories. ‘Deadline on project Y’ or ‘crazy sock day at school.’
And her point, addressing a room full of women, was not ‘prioritize kids over work.’ It was ‘some kid stuff is glass, and some is plastic. Sometimes, to catch a glass work ball, you have to drop a plastic family one, and that is OK.’
And the reverse is also true. Sometimes, to catch a glass kid ball, something at work has to slide, and that is OK, too. If you are juggling 55 balls, some are going to drop, so you have to focus not on broad categories, but on the glass balls.
I think about this ALL THE TIME. I dropped more than one ball today. It is hard to drop any ball, and I hate it! But they were plastic, and tomorrow, it will be OK.”
I had to stop and let that sink in a bit. At least a dozen times, I reread those words: “The key to juggling is to know that some of the balls you have in the air are made of plastic, and some are made of glass.”
Now that school and sports are back in session, this working Mama has felt the overwhelming struggle of the juggle. Almost always, it feels like there are way too many balls in the air than I can handle. Lunchbox, mask, emails, shoes, breakfast, teeth brushed, meetings, homework, practice, dinner, baths, work call, bedtime.
And somewhere in between all of that is snuggle, hugs, encouragement, love, coffee, time, play, achievements, sleep.
So many balls are up in the air, just waiting on me to miss the toss back up. And, I do. I miss the catch of some of the balls daily. And then, those are the only balls that I think about. Never mind the fact that I still have 52 balls that I have somehow managed to keep in the air, my mind wanders to those few that I dropped. Because in my mind, dropping any ball was a fail, and it lived with me – at least throughout that day and sometimes for days or even weeks after.
But it is hard keeping all those balls in the air. A couple are bound to fall. Yes, I said it, some balls are going to fall. And I needed to hear that — to read it — that day.
Because dropping a ball is part of life. It is part of this crazy, full-time working Mama, wife, employee, daughter, sister, friend gig. And I needed a reminder that it is OK to drop a ball.
Missing the bus and masks, they are plastic. We got to school on time, and I found a mask for one kid in my car, and the other had a spare one in her backpack. Both balls bounced right back up.
And that was freeing, thinking of it that way. Sure, I now have three more alarms set, and each girl has an extra mask in her backpack just in case, but I no longer feel like I completely failed that day.
The glass balls, I caught them, I juggled them back up. And I learned from and let go of the plastic ones that fell. Because, let’s be honest, there will be many more times that I am going to drop the ball.
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