Two for the home team: Coach’s family breaks down barriers to adopt Haitian boys

COLUMBUS GROVE — Andy Schafer felt nervous in May about what his two sons might be going through as they traveled across the Haitian countryside to Port-au-Prince.

The country erupted in gang violence and political unrest the last time Schafer, a teacher and successful head football coach at Columbus Grove schools, made a mission trip there. That was before he and his wife decided to adopt the two cute faces from an orphanage. He recalled his transportation having to make a two-hour detour to the airport, paying local leaders so their caravan could continue.

Andy couldn’t imagine what it was like for Francion, 12, or Jean Luckson, 10, who hadn’t been directly in harm’s way as much at their orphanage as they were when they headed into the city for necessary paperwork and now for their flight to their new home.

It was a different type of nervousness than anything he’d experienced in 13 years as a head football coach.

“I didn’t have to imagine it,” he said. “I’d seen it during my last mission trip. It was truly dangerous.”

Before long, he heard that the plane took off from Haiti. Then it landed in Miami.

His wife, Amy, waited across a customs room at the Miami airport with other adoptive parents, waiting for the boys to be processed by the American government. These boys, who they’d only communicated with virtually with video chats during a process that started in 2018, weren’t just their legally adopted sons. They were here.

“Once I physically identified the boys, I looked around to ask, ‘Am I allowed to hug them?’” she recalled.

She was. She did. Andy said he could see his wife’s brilliant smile from afar as they walked through the terminal at the Miami airport.

The adventure was just beginning.

A whole new world

The Schafers weren’t oblivious to what would happen when they adopted the two boys from Haiti. They’d been through classes and learned what they could from America World, which coordinated the adoption. They heard others’ stories through a Facebook network of other families in similar situations. Adoption was a common thread in Amy’s and Andy’s families.

However many times they’d seen each other on their devices beforehand, there was still a language barrier. The boys spoke very little English. The Schafers, who have two adult children out of the house and a teen daughter at home, spoke even less Haitian Creole.

Once the boys arrived at the Schafers’ home, the language and cultural differences became apparent. They hid personal items around the house, sometimes under their pillows, so no one else would take them. They hoarded food. They became obsessed with fighting over ice in trays in the freezer, as it had been a luxury at the orphanage.

They didn’t understand why they couldn’t cook for themselves or show other signs of their independence back on the Atlantic island.

“There was a lot of ‘me no comprende’ at first,” Andy recalled. “Then it turned into ‘you no comprende.’”

Some of it was just the natural tendencies of children. They missed their friends at the Haitian orphanage. They wanted to play with other children. A day camp at the Lima Family YMCA became a welcome respite, where the boys could be boys, even if there was a language barrier.

The family found a Creole church service at a Lima church that served the city’s growing Haitian population.

“We’ve found such a wonderful community of people who want to help make the boys comfortable,” Amy said.

Help in education

The Schafers agonized briefly on where to send their new sons to school. After all, Columbus Grove isn’t a demographically diverse place, with only 1.6% of its population being Black. They said they’re glad they chose Columbus Grove, where the boys have been welcomed by classmates, football players and the community since the first day.

“We’re actually kind of private people,” Andy said. “We weren’t sure what to think.”

Amy added, “The people of Columbus Grove have embraced these boys. They’ve embraced our family.”

The school district hired a translator and tutor, Marc Rocher, who came to the area from Haiti in July 2023 after working as a teacher at an American school in Port-Au-Prince.

“They couldn’t have found a better institution than this,” said Rocher, who spends about four hours a day with the boys. “They love it everywhere they go — classrooms, their teachers, the games. Everyone’s friendly. It’s not difficult for them to integrate, ever since the first day.”

They’ve appreciated the opportunity to learn about a new culture at the school, superintendent Nick Verhoff said. While they’ve hired aides to help with Spanish-speaking pupils before, it’s been their “most challenging situation,” although he said it was “the right thing to do, and we’re happy to do it.”

“I couldn’t be happier with the way our staff has responded to welcoming these boys and working with them,” Verhoff said. “I can imagine as a teacher this is something new to you, having a child in the classroom with very limited English and what that does in terms of planning, preparing and teaching. I’m sure that can be a little daunting. They’ve embraced it.”

The boys have learned to embrace Columbus Grove and American culture, too, said Rocher, who also helped the Schafers at home, especially before the boys learned to communicate basic needs to their parents. The well-behaved duo initially had some fear, especially given the role physical punishment took in Haiti, Rocher said.

“Here, when we punish kids, we don’t beat them or anything. It was different there,” Rocher said. “At first, they always had a reaction that people were going to hurt them if they get in trouble. Now they get a sense of love and protection from people.”

Family dynamics

The Schafers have also been pleased with how their three birth children integrated the boys into their lives. They already have a close bond with A.J., a second-year football player and student at Indiana Wesleyan. They’re fond of their oldest sister, who also checks in on her little sister to make sure she’s not lost in the shuffle.

Amy wondered how comfortable her daughter at home was with her newfound siblings.

“This is going to sound a little strange, but I heard her yelling at her little brothers the same way she yelled at A.J. when he was home,” she said. “That’s when I knew they were becoming siblings.”

A medical professional noticed one of the boys inching toward Andy during an appointment, commending him: They’d made an emotional bond, and the boy knew his father would protect him.

The boys are more comfortable in their surroundings now. On Monday, Francion playfully wanted his picture taken with green sunglasses, while Jean Luckson, his half-sibling, wanted to keep his backpack on. The family negotiated to take the picture both ways.

It’s not easy. It’s not hard. It’s just how families work.

“We’re so glad we did this,” said Amy, who said she had a “heart for adoption.”

Andy added, “It was the right thing for our family.”

Reach David Trinko at 567-242-0467 or on Twitter @Lima_Trinko.