By John Grindrod
Guest Columnist
As a creative kid growing up in a time when technology stopped at console Zeniths and RCAs with cabinets on each side of the screen that actually were larger than the screen, my pals and I were pretty good at inventing our own games.
I can remember when my childhood bestie Jimmy Fry and I caught a case of Olympic fever after seeing the black-and-white images from the 1960 games in Rome, the first time an Olympic was fully covered on television, so we used a portion of our allowance for something other than baseball cards. We each plunked down a couple quarters to buy a paperback that gave the history of each of the Olympiads.
We gathered some of our pals and created our own games. With scrap wood from the Lima Lumber and some nails, we made two standards for the high jump, using the pole Mom used to prop up the clothesline as the bar. Croquet balls became our shot puts and a ten-pound free weight someone borrowed from his dad became our discus, a series of unfolded lawn chairs for hurdles and a race around the block for the marathon.
Unlike the kids of today, we weren’t tempted by cell phones or tablets filled with gaming options or Microsoft Xboxes, so we became masters at making our own fun, something I often wonder whether today’s kids could do. Despite all those decades that have magically disappeared, the boy never really dies inside the man, even the old man.
I thought of that recently when I used a couple of rebates I got from Menards. Now, ordinarily, I don’t do too much jumping through hoops to receive rebates. For those in the Impatient Club, of which I am its longest-standing member, it seems like a lot of busy work filling out forms, stapling receipts to them and mailing stuff in, only to wait for several weeks before receiving a rebate that may only be worth five bucks.
However, I did mail in what was required to Menards because the amount was worth the trouble. I had some contractor work done on the storage shed in my back yard by my friend Jimmy Penn, and he bought all the materials needed at Menards. A few weeks later, I received two rebates, one for $15.31 and another for $34.40.
The first rebate card to arrive was the lesser amount, so off I went with my “free” coupon (since I’d already paid Jim for his labor and materials and even threw in a case of Bud Light) for a mini-shopping spree to a store with which I was totally unfamiliar. I’d always associated stores such as Menards, Home Depot and Lowe’s as domains to be occupied by those who have tools and actually can use them instead of dopes like me who have to search for the directions manual to provide a refresher on which end of the hammer to hold.
Once I began walking around, I was amazed at how vast the inventory was, with aisle after aisle of items totally unrelated to nails and screws and other handy-guy materials.
I looked for the items I thought were the best deals and added them in my head to see if I could get as close to the $15.31 without going over, in the true spirit of the late great Bob Barker’s “The Price Is Right.” Given my uncertainty as to tax addition, I knew the chances were nearly impossible to hit it exactly on the number. However, after the items were scanned, I was pretty proud of myself. I came in under and by just eight cents.
Several days later, I received the second rebate card for the $34.56, and off I went for another round to see if my price could be right, without, of course, going over! With the larger amount, I found myself spending far longer in the store.
Looking for the orange stickers that indicated reduced price items to maximize my haul, I began filling my cart with items like laundry soap, body wash (marked down to $1.25 so I grabbed two), a jug of OJ, a box of saltines, and coffee among other items, again, as I did the first time, trying to keep that running total in my head.
As I handed the rebate card to the young man at the register, I quickly explained my little game. He smiled and said after totaling the purchases, “Well, you’ve got some really good deals here, but I’m afraid if this were a game show, you’d have gone bust. I’ll need another $3.34.”
A bit crestfallen, I cashed out the difference. As I walked out, I thought at least he could have thanked me for playing and offered me the home version of “The (Rebate) Price Is Right”!
John Grindrod is a regular columnist for The Lima News, a freelance writer and editor and the author of two books. Reach him at [email protected].
