Like many retired geezers, I belong to a breakfast group that meets several times a week. Unlike most others, we tend to move our location regularly and have tried many different restaurants.
A recent experience at one local establishment, which I won’t name here, has left us shaking our heads in disbelief.
We have visited the place several times and found the food to be very good and, in today’s inflationary world, inexpensive. Recently, we went there and found that one employee who is normally there was absent for the day. It is unbelievable how much difference one employee, about 20% of the on-duty workforce, can make.
We sat for a long time without even getting served any coffee, and finally one member of our group went to the counter and asked that some be brought to us. It arrived quickly. So far, no problem.
Finally, after about 45 minutes, an employee arrived to take our order. None of us needed a menu, and the ordering seemed to go rather smoothly. Then, one member of our group asked if they had sliced bologna in place of the normal ham, bacon or sausage breakfast meat choices. He was told that a substitution would be possible, so he ordered fried eggs cooked medium, toast and fried bologna. It sounded good to me, so I ordered the same thing.
Again, we waited. The place was not busy, and we were in no hurry, so we didn’t complain. Finally, one person’s order arrived. The recipient first noticed that there were potatoes on the plate, which he had not ordered. Then when he went to eat it, he immediately pushed the plate away, remarking that the food was far too cold to eat. Then another employee arrived and said that he had been given someone else’s order.
Finally, our orders arrived. Person No. 1 got exactly what he ordered, fried eggs and toast. From that point forward, the situation went downhill. Out of five orders, that first order went to the only person who received what he ordered on the first attempt.
Person No. 2 ordered a breakfast sandwich of sausage and a fried egg on toast. When it was placed in front of him, he looked puzzled because he had received two sandwiches instead of one. Closer examination revealed that one of the sandwiches had a sausage patty, and the other had the egg. The second problem was that the egg was scrambled. It was the first time that any of us had ever seen an egg sandwich made of scrambled instead of fried egg.
But that was not the last egg sandwich surprise.
Person No. 3 came close to getting what he had ordered. He previously had been given someone else’s order, but the second one looked good until he picked up the toast. He had ordered it dry, but it came slathered with margarine. He didn’t complain, but he also didn’t eat it.
Orders No. 4 and No. 5 produced two more surprises. We had ordered fried eggs cooked medium, toast and a slice of bologna. We both received a sandwich containing one egg and a fairly thin slice of bologna. When i took a bite of the sandwich, a big blob of egg yolk dropped on the floor between my feet. The egg had been cooked medium, as ordered, but on a sandwich instead of a plate, it was totally unsuitable. Order No. 4 was exactly the same.
The biggest surprise came at the end. When we got our checks, the bologna orders read, “Two eggs medium and white toast” followed by the regular menu price. But the next line read, “Bologna $5.00”. We could have gotten an equally sized slice of ham for about $1.50 extra, but we had been served possibly the most expensive slice of bologna on the face of the earth.
We didn’t complain, and you might think that we would never go back. Actually, we found it so funny that we went back the next week to see what would happen. With the absent employee back, there were no problems.
Don Stratton is a retired inspector for the Lima Police Department. His column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Lima News editorial board or AIM Media, owner of The Lima News.
