Columns

Some people are paid by the hour, day or week. Other people are paid by the “job”.

My governor Gavin Newsom has finally found an excuse to get out of the state he’s been tyrannizing for the last three years.

“Someone’s sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” Warren Buffet’s words identify the focus of this column: Arbor Day, when we honor the importance of trees on planet Earth – and in our neighborhood. The official day falls on the last Friday of April, the 28th this year, though some states use a different day that’s better for their planting seasons.

Once I reached an age sufficient to be called a certified geezer, I started giving a standard reply to one certain comment. When someone says, “Good to see you,” I usually reply, “Better to be seen than viewed.”

Love means never having to say you’re sorry for taking your wife to a diner for your 45th wedding anniversary.

The North Vietnamese didn’t know what to make of their prisoner.

I hate to say this, but America no longer has two parties devoted to a democratic system of self-government. We have a Democratic Party, which — notwithstanding a few glaring counter-examples such as what the Democratic National Committee did to Bernie in 2016 — is still largely committed to democracy. And we have a Republican Party, which is careening at high-velocity toward authoritarianism. OK, fascism.

I once had a client from a country where the instability of the government led to widespread chaos.

Everyone knows the felony charges against Donald Trump for paying hush-money to a porn star are ridiculous.

There were three things our friend Dan loved (besides his wife): a good steak, a good beer and prison.