Every single night during bedtime prayers, I pray that God guides me to be the best mother that I can be for my girls. And every single night, my girls look me square in the eyes and tell me how I am already the best Mama in the world.
Though it would seem that the repetitiveness of their reassurance would dwindle the meaning of their words over time, it never does. There’s something about the truth, sincerity and honesty of children that squeezes onto meaningful words and captures them each and every time they are said.
And those words that I pray every night — being a better mom for my girls — I truly mean them. Just as much as my girls mean that I am the best mommy in the world.
But, I’m not the best mommy in the world. I know that. Heck, that theory was busted just last week, when Reagan and I went head-to-head over a pair of pants, the pair she had on that she didn’t want to wear vs. the four other pairs I gave her as options and then her crying over wanting to wear the pants she had on. Defeated, yet bound to make her attend practice (which was a commitment she already made), I dropped her off with both of us exhausted and in tears and did the ole Band-Aid trick: Peel her off quick and peel out.
I am positive there was a better way that I could have handled it, but that’s where we were that day.
There have been a million “I’ll be there in one second” that turned into minutes or maybe hours. Days where Mom, Mama, Mommy, Mother, Ma and Mooooooom are just overwhelming and I need a break. From my own kids — yes, I know, not mom of the year on those days.
Or how about raising my voice when the clutter that I have asked them to clean up 19 times is still lingering on my living room floor? Or the exasperated sigh when once again their bathroom has clothes, towels and who knows what else all over? And let’s not even talk about the sink, what exactly is all over it? Sometimes, I lose my crap over the bathroom. It happens; surely the best mommies do not do that.
Sometimes, they try me too many times when I have already said no. But, why not? Please! No means no. Not today. Not right now. I have already made my mind up. NO. And that “no” is usually not in a calm voice.
Or how about the mornings that I don’t wake up early enough to get us going on a positive note? Instead, I am rushing them around trying to get hair done, breakfast, shoes and socks and out the door just in time for the bus. Surely, the best mommies don’t have those days.
But you know what, even on those rushed mornings, I am still always there. I still take the time (sometimes very little time) to make sure they are ready for the day, have hugs and kisses and tell them to rock it.
Sure, I am going to push them to be at practice because once you commit to something, you see it through. It may be rough, but it will mold your character into an accountable human being for the future.
And yes, I yelled about the mess, but I also stood beside them and helped them pick it up. I have shown them over and over again what responsibilities look like. Even if I have to show them over and over a million times again, I will be there to do that.
And those Mommy time-out days, those matter too. Sometimes, I need a break so that I can refresh and be better for them.
There are moments when I feel like I am not doing enough as a mom, and then there are moments when I look around and realize that maybe I am not the best mom in the world, but I am certainly doing the best that I can.
If they have an event, I am there — no ifs, ands or buts. I will be cheering them on. Every day, I check their homework, ask about their day and pour in love and grace and prayer into their little souls. When problems arise, we discuss them, learn from them and grow.
We dance around the kitchen and belt out songs on car rides. We laugh, cry, pout, smile, joke and enjoy each other. But most importantly, no matter what, I am always there — and that is what matters the most.
I may not always be the best mom, but I am the mom that God chose for my girls. And being their mom is the absolute best.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the best Mamas out there!
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