I know, not another column on coronavirus. It’s like everywhere I turn and every social media page I scroll through there are stories, memes, panic, overreactions, underreactions and conversations about this virus we don’t know much about.
But don’t worry, this one will not come with any medical advice or politics. It is simply the thoughts roaming around the head of a mother who really has no idea what to think about it all.
Am I scared? Yes. Of what? The virus? Potentially. Maybe it is more so of the unknown — what can or will this do to us? It’s going to kill us all. It’s not even as deadly as the flu. Everyone stay calm and don’t panic. Let’s shut down and cancel all public events.
Great. Now I am even more confused.
Will someone really just tell me what I need to worry about? Seriously, do you know how many things I worry about daily as a mother? From getting up on time, making sure bags and lunches are packed, not missing the bus, getting to work, being successful at work, making sure homework is completed, kids are fed, bathed, teeth brushed, prayers said and get to bed on time. Oh, and also being involved in how their days went — making sure my littles are listening, behaving, being kind and adequately growing all while pouring love into them but not spoiling them.
It’s a lot! And tomorrow, I will get up and do it all again. Or I won’t since school has been canceled for three weeks. Now the worries change; do we have enough food in the house — or maybe, since everyone else is buying toilet paper, should I too? What are my kids going to do all day? Will they have tons of make up work? Will we go to school until July? Is everyone overreacting? Should I react more? I mean, my goodness, I have a 6 year old here who watches the news way too much and is practically preparing for doomsday. And here I am explaining to my girl that this is nothing for her little mind to worry about.
And I certainly do not want her worrying about it, but maybe her mom should be a little more worried about it.
Look, I am the least medically inclined person around. Seriously, when my parents mentioned medical POAs, I actually pulled my name out of that hat. I am not educated to make medical decisions — especially life or death ones for people I care about so deeply.
But am I potentially doing that now? From what I have read, typically healthy people could carry this and may not even know. Am I walking around in public places where I could pick it up? Sure, I have sang many, many renditions of “Happy Birthday” while washing my hands, but heck, I could be carrying it. Anyone could!
And even if I could be healthy enough to handle it, I was just with my immunodeficient mother on Sunday. With all the questions I have about this virus’ severity, the thought of my mom contracting this completely frightens me. Not to mention my cancer-fighting nephew who is on chemo. If he were to get this virus, we are not talking about down for a few days here. It could be much, much worse.
Am I worried we are being a little over the top? I mean, at first I laughed at all the funny jokes about people just learning how to wash their hands and read about how much more deadly the flu is, but in reality, do we even know? I don’t know about you, but I am pretty positive that I would much prefer to be safe than sorry.
It’s like a weird interim that we are in right now; like when we were kids and the snow started falling the night before and we were just waiting to see If we would close. Except now, the schools are already closed and the real question is what will close next?
And how do I plan for what is next when I have no idea what the next couple of days and weeks will bring?
So many questions in this Mama’s head and so many worries on this Mama’s heart. I don’t have any answers or medical advice (as promised). Confused, worried and scared as the next person, there is only one thing that I can do.
Pray.
Although I have never experienced something like this, God’s rate at getting me through other hard, questionable times is still 100%. No, I truly do not know what the future holds. But as all of this uncertainty unfolds around me, I find peace in knowing Who holds the future.
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