Someone please get this Halloween candy out of my house. Seriously, I do not have the self-control for this, especially heading into the two months of the year where food, snacks, candy, cookies — pretty much anything made of sugar — completely reigns over any sort of diet and exercise plan I may have had.
It’s not my fault, really. I blame my family. Pretty much my whole life, we have lived by the quote that calories do not count during the holidays. Oh, and did I mention that we have no problem claiming any day from November 1 to January 1 as a holiday?
I mean just as the trick-or-treaters are leaving her doorstep, my sister, Nikki, puts her Christmas tree up. My mom has been watching Hallmark Christmas movies for weeks now. Heck, she may have never stopped since Christmas in July. And, who I am kidding, my college roommate still messages me every year at the beginning of November to make sure I have my Christmas playlist made out, since I always made her listen to two months of Mariah Carey’s Christmas album.
Maybe, starting the celebration off early helps us cope with the dreaded winter months ahead. Maybe we are just so worn out from the first 10 months of the year that we need something to rejuvenate us. Or maybe, we are simply just a family who loves the holidays — the joy, decorations, spirit, family time, celebrating, and, of course, all the scrumptious treats.
And we love excuses to eat all the goodies. Just the other night, Maylie declared that Reese’s peanut butter cups were definitely good for us. After all, they have peanut butter in them, and peanut butter is protein. This, coming from my sweet girl who hates almost all things protein and will eat a spoonful of peanut butter just to make me feel like I am not failing in offering her the five food groups.
So of course, when I sneak a few Reese’s out of her stash for my work bag (or hide in the bathroom to eat them and then bury the evidence deep into the bathroom trash can), I am actually trying to make myself believe my 6-year-old’s logic. Protein. This is just protein.
Plus, if I am eating it that means less sugar for my girls. I am totally taking one for the team, just looking out for the well-being of my children for sure.
You see what I did there? I can make this last throughout our entire drawn-out holiday season. I still haven’t decided if it is complete genius or a sickness. Regardless, I am not seeking treatment yet.
But why would I? After all, along with the delectable delights of the season comes cooler weather and warmer clothing. Or, in other words, a lot more ways to hide my 2019 never-made-it-in-shape-why-start-now mom bod.
Seriously, is there anything more comforting after a long dreary day (where the sun doesn’t come up until what seems like lunchtime and is already heading back down on my way home from work) than an oversized hoodie, baggy sweat pants, and long fuzzy socks to hide my overdue need to shave. Hey, it’s pants-wearing weather. The only thing missing is a sweet piece of chocolate. Ah, but thankfully I have about 9 pounds of Halloween candy still waiting to be devoured.
And don’t worry, once I pick out all the good stuff in my children’s stash, I am sure there will be other goodies like holiday limited-time Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes, pecan pie for Thanksgiving, cut-out cookies with homemade frosting or whatever treat I ordered to support the school fundraiser.
Some years, I truly try to fight it. Nope, not going to succumb to the annual upward scale creep this year. I will stay strong and munch on this tasteless piece of celery and sandwich wrap made with flaxseed that tastes like soil. But that usually lasts a rough couple of weeks (OK, maybe days) and then turns into a pile of guilt when I do finally give in and let the holiday traditions roll.
Maybe this year, I will just skip the attempt to hold myself back. I mean, who needs all that guilt anyway? The gluttony of season is upon us. From now until the end of the year, every day is a part of the holidays approaching. At least, in the mind of my family and I. So, I may as well embrace it.
After all, I have plenty of time to start planning my new diet and exercise regimen — I mean lifestyle — for 2020. But in the meantime, I certainly cannot let all this Halloween candy go to waste.
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