Jim Krumel: Funny stuff … and not so funny stuff

By Jim Krumel - jkrumel@civitasmedia.com

Jim Krumel


Here are some conversation starters as you begin your week:

Business bits:

… For every manufacturing job lost to trade, nearly nine have been lost to machines, the Manufacturing Council points out. It’s a fact you seldom hear mentioned in debates about free trade and job loss.

… Looking for a wedding gift that the bride and groom will surely remember you by? Check out Domino’s Pizza. It is launching a wedding registry.


… Lourdes University, in the Toledo suburb of Sylvania, has joined 30 other schools that offer students a chance to earn a varsity letter in video gaming. The so-called eSport encourages critical thinking and being competitive, the schools claim. And yes, scholarships are offered.

… Don McNelly has died at the age of 96. He ran 744 marathons in his lifetime, including one in every state and one on every continent. He grew up on a tenant farm in Brookville and didn’t start running until he was nearly 50. His 744 marathons isn’t a record, though. That’s held by Norm Frank, who ran 965 marathons before he died at age 83.

… Of the 105 Ohio laws that have mandatory minimum prison sentences, 77 are drug related. Thus it shouldn’t be surprising that one out of every four Ohioans sent to prison is there for a drug-related crime in a state suffering from prison overcrowding.

… Coming to Columbus: Retail giant Ikea will be opening a megastore this summer, just north of the Polaris Center on Interstate 71.

Say it’s not so:

… Returning to New York City: A Playboy Club, complete with tightly corseted Playboy bunnies wearing bunny tails and ears. It will open later this year, three decades after the city’s original club closed.

…. One-third of Americans don’t know Obamacare is the Affordable Care Act, The New York Times reported.

… Meanwhile, two-thirds of Americans would have difficulty coming up with the money to cover a $1,000 emergency, The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Research reported.

… And while the above folks worry about money, USA Today reported someone bid nearly $100,000 on eBay for a Cheeto that bears a resemblance to slain Cincinnati Zoo gorilla Harambe.

First lady club

Melania Trump became the first of the first ladies to file a libel lawsuit, putting her in an exclusive club:

•Abraham Lincoln’s wife, Mary, was the first of the first ladies to hold séances in the White House.

•Rutherford B. Hayes’ wife, Lucy, was the first to ban all alcoholic beverages from the White House.

•William Howard Taft’s wife, Nellie, was the first to smoke cigarettes.

•Richard Nixon’s wife, Pat, was the first to wear pants in public.

Then there was Flo Harding. She was the first first lady to be accused of poisoning a president. It supposedly happened after she caught her husband, Warren Harding, having sex with a young girl in a White House closet. Warren never made it through the third year of office as he died. Mrs. Harding refused all entreaties to allow the doctors to conduct an autopsy and instead ordered that her husband be embalmed shortly after his death. The accusations were never proved.

Glad it’s not you:

… A 42-year-old Indian woman from the state of Tamil Nadu visited five hospitals before doctors at Stanley Medical College figured out the tingling, crawling sensation inside her head was a cockroach. It took 45 minutes, but doctors using suction devices and forceps were able to extract the insect, which was lodged at the base of the woman’s skull between the eyes and close to the brain. The roach is believed to have crawled though the woman’s nose.

ROSES AND THORNS: A young entrepreneur finds a place in the rose garden.

Rose: To Bryce Hinegardner, a 2016 graduate of Bath High School. Having a love for archery since he was 5 years old, it was only natural for him to purchase Deer Crossing Archery, which manufactures carbon-fire arrows.

Rose: To Lewis Shine, a Lima Senior grad, who was named the assistant girls basketball coach at Central State University.

Thorn: To Rob Galloway, a martial arts heavyweight fighter from Van Wert. He’s charged with felonious assault. Officials said he attacked guards at the Van Wert County jail. One guard was put in a chokehold until he passed out. He threw a handful of toilet water with urine in it at another guard’s face. He also said he wanted to eat a human heart.

Thorn: To Buckeye Diamond Logistics. The Lima company was fined $44,675 by the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration for what officials said were several safety violations.

Thorn: To Rex Humphrey, of Mansfield. The tractor-trailer driver was going too fast when attempting a turn on Harding Highway, causing the truck to tip over and spill scrap metal onto the parking lot of the Speedway gas station.

PARTING SHOT: The road to success is always under construction.

Jim Krumel
http://limaohio.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/web1_Jim-Krumel-1.jpgJim Krumel

By Jim Krumel


Jim Krumel is the editor of The Lima News. Contact him at 567-242-0391 or at The Lima News, 3515 Elida Road, Lima, Ohio 45807.

Jim Krumel is the editor of The Lima News. Contact him at 567-242-0391 or at The Lima News, 3515 Elida Road, Lima, Ohio 45807.

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